well I can't set my house on fire every night
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my sisters under your porch take her home
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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