my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
