i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize