You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
