I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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