I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
