WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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