He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
