i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
