okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
