3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
