Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
