Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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