My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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