She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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