I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
