I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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