You really coming over, don't trick.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
