you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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