i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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