So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
