"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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