Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
