I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Reggie can tackle my bush.
bring money and cleavage
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
