this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
