i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
These tits shall not be calmed
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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