am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
