Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
