3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
last night I used snow as a chaser
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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