So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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