This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize