Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
