that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
