So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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