party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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