I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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