I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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