does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
