Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
