I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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