I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
