HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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