BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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