He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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