Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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