evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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