evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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