Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
