dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I had to cum in my sink.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
