i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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