I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
