Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
