No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
