you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
