you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
