apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
