Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
