the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
