I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
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He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
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This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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