I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
