It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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