is your mom at the bar?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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