i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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