the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
