I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
