Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
