You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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