Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
