Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
