pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
How does it feel to date your dad?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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