nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
